Transference and Countertransference

Before I start I want to issue a disclaimer, I am not a psychologist or any other ist that deals with these terms but, I am going to talk about my experience on these terms. 

In a counselling session, counselors have to aware of the transference of the counselee emotions on to them and the danger they have of transferring their emotions onto the counselee (countertransference).  

These terms are helpful when the counselor is assessing the session or the relationship that is developing between the counselor and counselee. The counselee for example, might transfer feelings of a father on the counselor and the counselor might transfer feelings of a child onto the counselee. 

The counselor has to keep these boundaries in check for the health of the session. 

However, this got me thinking does this happen outside of the counselling session? Is this the way we respond to each other in the world. I have never studied this but I am of the opinion that the brain works in pictures. If I say the word tree, the brain immediately goes to an image of a tree. Now everybody's trees will be different even though we are speaking of the same concept. 

What happens when we say the word God? What kind of images does that stir up? 

In our day to day relationships we are constantly transfering and countertransfering to gain access to meaning. It forms the basis of our relationships because it is the pictures that we use to gain understanding. The problem is that in our world, very few people analyse the transference and countertransference we have in our relationships. I am of the opinion that we can start to analyse our brokenness and struggles in a far more healing way if, we were to open up our eyes to this. In the same way focusing on our breathing makes us aware of our need for oxygen, focusing on our transference and countertransference makes us aware of our need for healing and restoration. 

Questions like why am I feeling this towards this person? What are the pictures I am using in this conversation saying about me? Why is this person showing this emotion towards me? 

I wonder if this was in some ways what made the Pharisees and Sadducees so upset with Jesus. They were transferring their issues onto Jesus and they were hoping he would countertransfer acceptance and affirmation. They wanted Jesus to fit into their picture. Instead he showed them a love that was beyond the transference. A love deeper than they would ever know and in so doing they had two options. They could either assess their brokenness or they could take their anger out on him. 

I think this is what made the oppressed so drawn to Jesus. They already knew they were broken and so transferred that onto Jesus. Jesus in return transferred a new type of humanity onto them. Jesus broke their picture but in so doing gave them hope and a new identity. 

Maybe this week it would be helpful to see how, what, and why we are feeling what in our relationships with other people.