I Need To Listen More
Today Vashti my fiance came to speak to me. She is struggling with life. In the past I have been a Youth Pastor first and a person second. My identity was what I did and not who I was.
So for the past few weeks I have without noticing it been a Youth Pastor to her and not a person. I have been quick to give advice and be the hero and slow to be a person who listen and is just present. I have fallen in the trap of being spectacular and to be all things to all people (Dangerous thing this ego)
I really hate what I term "Porno" Christianity. What I hate more than the posters, bangles and the dvd's is "Porno" books but I was given 5 love languages by my brother as a present. Despite the "Porno" in it I have been able to see things that I could use to love Vashti more.
Maybe the Jesus in me is learning to start listening in weird places.
being a youth pastor shouldn't be about 'being the hero', being 'spectacular' and 'giving advice'...I'm sure that's not how you run your ministry.
ReplyDeleteMethinks you are confusing your being a youth pastor with just being a guy.
My question is always 'if I'm not supposed to solve the problem, what the hell am I supposed to do?'
Just listening is a skill us guys just don't have naturally, so again I ask, what are we supposed to do when confronted with someone's troubles?
I wonder sometimes, if this is not an issue worthy of compromise. Should the fairer sex not also allow us to resolve trouble at times? I suspect that will be as difficult for them to do as JUST listening is to us.
Carel